Disclaimer: This story is 100% true, and it happened to me yesterday, 5pm, at the Royal Academy of Arts.
So there I was enjoying this great exhibition called “From Russia”, which shows amazing pieces from Russian museums and collections, from artists such as Matisse, Picasso and Gauguin.
It was then that I overheard a conversation between two very English, very proper, middle-aged gentlemen.
GENTLEMAN 1 – Oh my god, I have never seen such a massive bonner. (A bonner is a slang for what happens to a man’s…mmmm…manhood when he is happy to see you).
ME (thinking) – Oh my god, I can’t believe I just heard that.
ME (thinking again and never one to miss the action) – Mmmmm, I wonder in which of the paintings the bonner is. Those naughty Russians! Let’s investigate.
GENTLEMAN 2 – True, if I didn’t know it was a bonner I would not have recognized it.
ME (thinking, alarmed) – Oh my god! Where is this huuuuuuuuge bonner??
And it was then that I saw a very large painting. Lots of beautiful, strong colours. No bonner. Then I saw the name of the artist. Pierre. BONNARD.
(A Bonnard. Hihihi)