Glamorous me

As one more London Fashion Week draws to a close, I catch myself thinking about the weird world of the beautiful clothes. Don't get me wrong, I love the whole buzz of it as much as the next consumerist lady. But it is a week based on image, and everybody (me on top of ridiculous heels included) tries to put their best one forward. Like when everyone is dying to see what is inside the goody bag, but has to pretend they don't really care. Even if 10 minutes later they are elbowing a fellow show-goer in the eye to get an extra bag forgotten on the front row.

Soooo, instead of talking about the catwalks, the models and how fabulous we all were, I decided to get real and reveal: MY BIGGEST FASHION WEEK FAUX-PAUS.



1) End of show, having a beer at the after party when one of the designers approaches. He gives me his card. I decide to show off just a little and thank him in my only Japanese. "Arigatô Gozaimassssss", I say. "You are welcome, but I am Chinese", he replies.

2) End of another show, general buzz, people leaving the venue in a symphony of chunky heels, many abandoning their yummy cosmetic-brand-sponsored goody bags. Never the one to miss an opportunity, I get a little carried away and end up with three bags in my hands. Not, I repeat, NOT a good look.

3) Waiting for the doors to open at a third event, I spot my favourite fashion blogger coming down the stairs. Having had more than my fair share of free beer, I yell her name, tell her I "loooooooooove" her blog, and proceed to introduce her to my two friends who probably decided to end the friendship then and there. Not only I manage to embarrass the poor blogger, but I make my friends want to hide in their stilettos. Nice one darling.

Wood life

Camping is supposed to be a chilled time away from the tribulations of city life, right?

Well, of course it's not exactly what happens when certain people set up on their voyage...

So there we are, Saturday afternoon, enjoying the peace and quiet in the middle of the woods. All very relaxing. The fire is going, I am reading about crazy Chinese torture, Gringowlindow is listening to the football on headphones and scaring the deer with every almost-goal, our friends are taking a nap in the tent. Until...

Big guy and old farmer appear from nowhere.

Old farmer - What is this?
Me (puzzled by the obvious question) - Well, we are camping
Old farmer - Mmmmmmm, camping, huh?
Me (defiant) - Yes, camping, this is public land.
Old farmer - Well, not really. This is my land.
Me (not feeling so hot anymore) - Gulp. But isn't this the Kings Wood?
Old farmer - Not really. Kings Wood ends before that field. These are my woods.

At that time, Big guy was having a look around our campsite, and I was preparing to get up and leave when Gringowlindow goes...

Gringowlindow - Errrrrr, do you mind if we stay until tomorrow?

Surprisingly, Old farmer decided that we could stay. I think he realized we were not exactly Hooligans after having a look around and seeing:

- Scrabble
- A backgammon board
- A few books
- Our many empty bottles of wine set aside for recycling.

And so we stayed. But I suspect our friends (who had never camped before) were not so convinced anymore by our claims that we were pro campers (considering I also forgot to bring the pots and pans).

(...is great, especially with pots and pans...God save Sansbury's!)

Rélou

Ok folks and flowers.

So here I am. Back and in English!

Thank you for all the comments, I will definitely take the advice of writing in whatever language makes more sense. After all, as someone pointed out, certain life-changing expressions such as "cara de palmito" are indeed hard to translate. But, for the sake of those not familiar with the language of Gisele, caipirinha and crazy-waxing-in-private-places, I promise I will try my best.



I am going camping this weekend, so soon I return with tales of glamour X mud and how to convince Gringowlindow to come pee with me in the woods at 3am because I have been afraid of going on my own since watching The Blair Witch project.

Anyways, as Wonderbra once said "HELLO BOYS"!

(Little dictionary of silly expressions:
Gringowlindow - English word for Gringolindo, which is my beloved hubby and eternal gringo.
Gringo - A non-Brazilian.)